Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Trusting not nag!

Proverbs 21: 19 Better to live in a desert
than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife

This was me, for a few months now. You see after we left our old church my husband was hurt, I mean hurt beyond any hurt. And luckily we were welcomed in by friends of ours at another church that really helped us heal. These people were awesome, and supportive. However that church is a full 50 + miles from our home.

And the drive was getting to my darling hubby. But *I* said, we have to go.. we MUST be in church, little quips and little things said here and there, and what would my lovely husband do, he would go to appease me. Don't get me wrong, my hubby loves church and loves the people, but it was stressing to him.

Hubby works an hour away during the week, and travels then. Then Saturday comes and we're rush to do this, that, and the other thing.. Fixing the house, outside commitments, helping friends, more driving, more mess in our own home sometimes.  Which we would then have to clean, before leaving for church over an hour away on a Sunday. We'd basically be gone from our home from 9am to sometimes 3 or 4pm. Because we LOVE this church family. I've never been at a church that truly enjoys fellowship the way these people do. And I am a very social person, so I loved it.

Dh on the other hand, while he LOVES people, would be thinking of everything that we didn't get done on Saturday that now had to be done when we got home.  Or the financial burden of the gasoline.   Thus leading to stressful Sundays.

"but honey" I would say, "what will people think of us if we dont' go to church?" "we'll be heathens" "we need to be there" " we need to trust the Lord"  blah, blah, blah, or translate that to nag, nag, nag..

Then I came to the conclusion, that I wouldn't say anything.. I'd leave the decision up to my dh, but I was bitter. I was angry... I knew once our friends found out. They would be well meaning in telling us we need to be in Church, we need the fellowship, we need to hear God's word. etc. etc.

This drove hubby further and further away from wanting fellowship with others. And began to make him bitter. He was still dealing with his previous hurt.

SO then, I changed MY attitude.  I began to support him, in a loving manner.  He knew how I felt about the matter, but this wasn't about me.

Proverbs 31:

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

So I began to pray for him daily, and heartily. I didn't push to go to church or weekly bible study. We kept up with our weekly bible study, just at home. We took turns reading around our dinner table and discussing it. We kept our Sundays' as family days. We did the usual thing we normally do, and sometimes we would listen to sermons' online. Or to some wonderful teachings we have on CD.

And I began to see dh soften, he came home from working telling me what he heard on the Christian radio station in the am. The teaching he heard. We'd discuss. I'd see him quietly reading his bible.

And then it came..from him... "hey, let's go to bible study tonight" ... :)

And finally last night, "Hey, I've been thinking.. Let's try this church this week" .

2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction

With love, patience, understanding, more patience, and grace my husband has come full circle.

By trusting the Lord with the outcome of my husband's heart, and knowing that others think we are sinning, I knew the Lord was telling me different. He was teaching and molding me during this season of drought. He was teaching me patience and grace.  He was teaching me to love. He was teaching my softening....he was slowly leading my husband.. in His timing.

From My Heart to Yours!



  1. Thank you for sharing your heart. Beautiful. To God be the Glory.


  2. Amen. We all need to remember the lesson in your post. The lord will always show us the way, if we just shut up and walk away so he can do his works.

  3. Sometimes it can be hard to avoid nagging... Thanks for sharing your inspiring story. :)

  4. I believe in the attitude change. and the support for family. and of course, Jesus our Saviour.


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