Thursday, January 18, 2018

Depression is....

Depression is: 
  • hiding behind a smile that no one but you knows is fake.
  • getting dressed even though it feels like the hardest thing to do.
  • hugging your child, when you can't fathom another person touching you.
  • going out, when you really want to stay home.
  • petting your dogs, while  you wonder why they love you unconditionally.
  • cooking for your family, when you really rather not.
  • not eating for days, and then when you do you choose moon pies.
  • crying when you're in the shower, alone in your bedroom, while your whole house sleeps.
  • feelings of guilt
  • feelings of sorrow
  • feelings of inadequacy 
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • feelings you can't explain
  • feeling exhausted
  • headaches
  •  feeling alone even though I'm surrounded by people. 
and so much more... but as of late these are the feelings I've been having. 

Trying so hard to over come, but my energy level just can't handle any negativity. 

Monday, January 15, 2018

new bible

I have been wanting a new bible for quite some time. 
I found this one online but I'm way to cheap to buy it for myself. 
I can't help it. I'm a mom of 6. 
My children have always been my first priority. 

Since our move to PA, we have experienced some major changes. 
Lots of good and some could be better. 
The goal was to better our family and I feel that we have done that. 
But a huge part of me, misses my family, my home, my people. 

Starting fresh and alone is hard work for me. Especially since I was well established in my area. 

The need for me to lean into God is stronger than ever. 
We have found a home church.
We have jumped in full throttle. 

I had a particularly bad day the other day. 

And my son went out and bought me this bible and surprised me with it. 

I am so happy, and feel so blessed by this gift.


Image result for inspire bible

Christmas in Our New Home

This was our first full Christmas in our new home. 
I can't tell you how hard I struggled with my normal routine and missing my family. 
I thought I was so prepared for being away from my family and the longer I am here the more I realize that I was not fully prepared.  
I felt so out of sorts that I think I cancelled Christmas 10 times before Christmas Day. 
I struggled with my depression, which left my immediate family wondering how they could help me. I literally walked around for day with tears just pouring down my face, and  I couldn't give an explanation as to why. I managed to pull it together and below are some photos, from around the house. 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...